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Nghe Lóm
Nguyen Giang
#21 Posted : Thursday, June 18, 2009 11:36:32 AM(UTC)
Nguyen Giang

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Chị nghe lóm tài thiệt, tặng hoa cho chị nàyRoseRoseRoseRose
Về cái khoản này thì em chịu bởi nghe xong người ta nói nhưng không nhớ nổi người ta nói gì nữa ha, nghe xong chỉ biết lúc đó thôi ha.
Nguyen Giang
#22 Posted : Thursday, June 18, 2009 11:38:19 AM(UTC)
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Chị nghe lóm tài thiệt, tặng hoa cho chị nàyRoseRoseRoseRose
Về cái khoản này thì em chịu bởi nghe xong người ta nói nhưng không nhớ nổi người ta nói gì nữa ha, nghe xong chỉ biết lúc đó thôi ha.
xv05
#23 Posted : Thursday, June 18, 2009 12:34:48 PM(UTC)
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hi hi, trật rồi Nguyen Giang ơi. Là xv thấy người ta "nghe lóm" rồi đăng lên báo đó, xv cọp dê lại cho mọi người "nghe" thôi à, chớ xv "nghe" còn ẹ hơn NG nữa đó. Khổ nhứt là từ ngày trên báo bên đây có cái mục "Nghe lóm" này thì xv lên xe lửa khg dám mở miệng, sợ nói tầm bậy mà lại nói sai nữa thì được bảng vàng đề tên, mắc cở chết Wink
Tặng NG Rosebeerchug
Nguyen Giang
#24 Posted : Thursday, June 18, 2009 12:44:58 PM(UTC)
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beerchug Cooling Hì, hoá ra là từ báo, nhưng cũng hay lắm chị à
xv05
#25 Posted : Monday, June 22, 2009 4:31:23 PM(UTC)
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WinkNghe Lóm

Girl studying wars: “What’s socialism?”
Friend: “Paris Hilton is a socialist, but that’s got nothing to do with war. Maybe socialism is someone who’s socially involved in war.”


Boy: “Pfft, this person thinks Martin Luther King is Michael Jackson.”
Girl: “Huh! Everyone knows he’s that ‘sting like a bee’ boxer.”


Girl: “I heard an Apple shop is opening there soon.”
Friend: “So, like, that’s all they sell? Wow! Not even any oranges?”


Girl: “I hate to be color blind. I love color.”
Friend: “Do you think you can buy color-blind contacts?”


Girl: “Gee you’ve got a nice tan.”
Friend: “Yeah, I just lay out on my porch all summer.”
Girl: “Wow. I didn’t know that you could drive.”


Girl: “I’m going to get a nose job.”
Boy: “Why?”
Girl: “So my children won’t get a big nose.”
Boy: “Isn’t it in your genes.”
xv05
#26 Posted : Monday, June 29, 2009 4:14:12 PM(UTC)
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WinkNghe Lóm

Man: “I lost my nanna on Saturday.”
Friend: “Where did you lose her?”


Girl: “I wish I was pregnant then I wouldn’t have to worry about looking fat.”

Girl on train: “What is the word for when you get your penis cut off?”

Girl1: “I hate it when guys stare at my boobs.”
Girl2: “Well, cover them up then.”
Girl1: “But then no one will notice them.”


Lady: “Oh, there’s no seatbelts on the train.”

Guy: “What should I say to my girlfriend?”
Friend: “A year without you is a year without pain.”
xv05
#27 Posted : Tuesday, June 30, 2009 4:11:03 PM(UTC)
xv05

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WinkNghe Lóm

Girl reading Overheard: "These people are so stupid, they are even stupider than me."

Guy: "I sold my iPhone because 50 per cent of people have one."
Friend: "Maybe you should sell your genitals too."


Girl: "hey, you reckon apples can grow out of the ground?"
Friend: "No, they don't have roots."


Train driver arriving at station: "Attention passengers, we've just overshot the flatform by about one carriage, so anyone who wants to get off should move to the second carriage. Please do not attempt to get off from the first carriage."

Guy: "Who was Sherlock Holmes?"
Friend: "Didn't you read the stories?"
Guy: "Was he a writer?"


Guy 1: "I'm having trouble showing affection to my girlfriend."
Guy 2: "Try this: If you can show affection to a dog, you can show affection to your girlfriend."
Guy 1: "I see, That makes sense."
xv05
#28 Posted : Friday, July 3, 2009 4:55:49 PM(UTC)
xv05

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WinkNghe Lóm

Girl: “Where is the French Open played?”
Friend: “I think it’s somewhere in France.”


Girl: “Cows are so cute. It’s a pity they taste so good.”

Women: “You have your belly button pierced? Where’s about?”

Guy: “Imagine if they made a cheeseburger with no cheese.”
Girl: “They already have. It’s called a hamburger.”


Girl: “I wish food grew on trees.”
Companion: “Doesn’t?”
Girl: “Nah, fruit isn’t food.”


Guy: “Is Parliament House in Melbourne or Canberra?”
Friend: “Melbourne.”
Guy: “I thought Canberra.”
Friend: “No, that’s the White House.”


Girl: “Who put gold underground?”
Friend: “I think it was just all hidden treasure.”
Girl: “That makes sense.”

xv05
#29 Posted : Tuesday, July 7, 2009 4:15:12 PM(UTC)
xv05

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WinkNghe Lóm

Girl to friend: “Do you think the tall people can breathe fresher air than us?”

Girl: “I didn’t want to go to the party as I would have been the only girl I knew there.”

Boy: “Is an egg meat or dairy?”

Girl: “What’s a streetcar?”
Friend: “It’s a car that travels on the street.”


Guy1: “Oh, look at Sacha Baron Cohen, he looks hilarious.”
Guy2: “Yeah, he’s now Bruno.”
Guy1: “What? Did he officially change his name?”


Girl: “People do not drive trains, they just move.”

Girl: “Those lights on top of a taxi mean something?”
xv05
#30 Posted : Friday, September 4, 2009 2:27:00 PM(UTC)
xv05

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WinkNghe Lóm

Girl hold a travel brochure: "Wow, Europe and Britain.... do you think that includes London?"

Girl: "Last night I tripped over the cordless phone cord."

Girl: "Oh, you're from French? That's near Paris, isn't it?"

Boy to mum: "Mummy, if it's a sin to burn the Bible, why do they make it out of such flammable paper?"

Guy: "Imagine if they made a cheeseburger with no cheese."
Girl: "they already have. It's called a hamburger."

Guy: "Is Parliament House in Melbourne or Canberra?"
Friend: "Melbourne."
Guy: "I thought Canberra."
Friend: "No, that's the White House."

Boy: "After I eat I feel really full for no reason."

Father to daughter: "When there's no more discoveries for scientists to find, they just rename the old ones."
Từ Thụy
#31 Posted : Friday, September 4, 2009 9:18:50 PM(UTC)
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quote:
Gởi bởi xv05
Guy: "Is Parliament House in Melbourne or Canberra?"
Friend: "Melbourne."
Guy: "I thought Canberra."
Friend: "No, that's the White House."


Cũng giống Thụy có lần nghe lóm ở đâu đó ở Úc:

Girl: What's the emergency number again?
Boy: 911
Girl: Isn't it 000?
Boy: No, that's when you press it by accident.

Mèn Wink.
xv05
#32 Posted : Saturday, September 5, 2009 2:28:21 PM(UTC)
xv05

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Big Smile
lỗi tại cái... TV mọi đàng Dead
PC
#33 Posted : Saturday, September 5, 2009 8:54:19 PM(UTC)
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Ở Anh con số này là 999.
xv05
#34 Posted : Sunday, September 6, 2009 9:09:37 PM(UTC)
xv05

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Tự nhiên em nghĩ ra là nếu mình đi du lịch tự túc ở nước nào thì chắc mình nên biết số điện thoại khẩn cấp ở nước đó. hi hi mà nếu ở đó họ khg biết tiếng Anh thì cũng như huề.
Còn cái vụ bảo hiểm khi đi du lịch cũng quan trọng khg kém.
Mấy năm trước có người nhà bên chồng chị em từ Mỹ sang chơi ở nhà chỉ đã đời rồi chỉ mới biết là họ khg chịu bảo hiểm du lịch gì hết. Chỉ giận quá nhg khg nói gì. Chừng họ về rồi lại đòi qua thêm lần nữa, lần này còn tính đi đông hơn, lên kế hoạch đi vòng quanh nước Úc. Chỉ bèn nói có qua thì phải bỏ tiền đóng bảo hiểm trước, nếu khg thì đừng có tới ở nhà chỉ. Thế là ình chéo ình chéo ình ình chéo...
xv05
#35 Posted : Sunday, September 6, 2009 9:27:57 PM(UTC)
xv05

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Wink Nghe Lóm

Girl: "hi, how much is this black shoe polish?"
Man: "It's $8. It gives a nice shine to the shoes."
Girl: "Oh, I don't want shiny shoes, I want black ones."

Guy to friend: "It's true that girls mature more quickly than boys. Boys are like a fine wine that matures with age. Girls like a cheap hobo wine that you drink now."

Guy: "My dad works for American Express."
Friend: "I didn't know your dad was a pilot."

Girl to man smoking on a train: "Please don't smoke, I have a headache."
Man: "I'm not smoking loudly."

English backpacker: "I thought horses were English, but the Romans had them... do they have sheep in Australia?"

Shivering girl: "Oh my God, do you think my legs woukd be warmer if they were hairier?"
Friend: "um.. maybe!"

Girl: "Do I look like a stripper when I hold the train pole like this?"
PC
#36 Posted : Sunday, September 6, 2009 11:06:53 PM(UTC)
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Cái này chị không rõ lắm. Bộ có chuyện gì thì nhà nào chứa khách phải chịu trách nhiệm sao?
xv05
#37 Posted : Monday, September 7, 2009 10:18:09 AM(UTC)
xv05

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Không hẳn vậy nhưng nếu chị là người thân trong gia đình, khi tới nước chị thăm chị cái rồi tự nhiên họ bị gãy giò hay đau ruột thừa chẳng hạn, khg có bảo hiểm du lịch thì phải vô BV bó cái giò hết mấy xấp, mổ ruột thừa tệ tệ cũng mười mấy xấp; hay ... xui hơn là họ bị đứng tim rồi lăn ra nghẻo, khg có bảo hiểm du lịch thì tốn mấy chục xấp là chuyện í dì chẳng lẽ chị là người thân mà chị để đó nhìn hay sao... (có người bị rồi, họ chịu bỏ tiền ra lo mà các hãng máy bay cũng không chịu chở về nếu khg có bảo hiểm), Thành ra nhiều ng` khg chịu bảo hiểm du lịch, họ bảo làm gì có chuyện đó xảy ra nhưng vẫn có đó, trong khi bảo hiểm cho cả gia đình trong vòng mấy tuần lễ chỉ có vài ba trăm mà thôi.

hi hi nghi quá, kỳ đó chị đi ta bà mà có đóng bảo hiểm không?
xv05
#38 Posted : Monday, September 7, 2009 12:43:09 PM(UTC)
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Nhiều người cũng khg biết là cần phaỉ đóng bảo hiểm.
Từ Thụy
#39 Posted : Monday, September 7, 2009 12:58:11 PM(UTC)
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Có lẽ là họ không biết đó chị xv. Nhưng mà đúng là đi du lịch rất nên mua bảo hiểm (cover không những về y tế mà còn hành lý, vé máy bay, v...v...). Kỳ rồi về VN Thuỵ cũng mua bảo hiểm, chừng $350 hay sao đó, cover cả tiền máy bay chở về lại Úc trong trường hợp khẩn cấp, hoặc nếu trường hợp xấu nhất xảy ra thì người ta cũng chịu chi phí chở xác mình về lại bên này. Nên đọc kỹ điều kiện xem họ cover những thứ gì.

Đúng là chỉ vài trăm nhưng sẽ là gánh nặng cho mình và những người thân của mình nếu chuyện xui xẻo xảy ra.

Chị xv có nghe tin ngày hôm nay có con bé 12 tuổi gì đó bị lọt xuống mương (drains) mà không chịu gọi 000 lại đi mò vô facebook nói rằng nó bị kẹt dưới mương. May mà có thằng bạn đang online, hắn kêu 000 đến cứu. Mấy ông cảnh sát la làng la xóm là con nít thời nay sao mà.... Shocked. Đáng quýnh đòn không chị xv? Tongue



Từ Thụy
#40 Posted : Monday, September 7, 2009 1:00:29 PM(UTC)
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Nói thêm là con bé dùng mobile phone để vào facebook. Thiệt tình.
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